Changing.  That’s what everything is about to do.  And there is nothing I can do it to stop it.  Nor do I want to.  

Ready to get steam-rolled.

Baby is coming, ready or not, in mere weeks (possibly days???) and I have yet to purchase a thing.  Not.  Even.  Diapers.   It wasn’t all that long ago that I was praying beyond all hope that we could just make it through Thanksgiving.  Then Christmas.  And here we are.  Nearly full-term and fully caught by surprise.  Let the incessant list-making begin!  

My mind is a clutter as of late.  Too much to think.  Or concentrate.  Or write.  Too busy hurrying along the days, inching towards delivery.  I am aware that wishing away time is a travesty and a waste, but I just cannot help the fact that I am beyond ready to move on.  This pregnancy has completely worn on me from the moment of discovery.  From the initial shock and awe and surprise, to the complications that subsequently ensued.  This has not been one of those happy-go-lucky-enjoy-your-changing-body-and-the-miracle-of-life-inside-you pregnancies.  This been one of those baby-I-really-hope-you’re-okay-and-I’m-okay-please-God-help-us-all-make-it-to-the-finish-line sorts of pregnancies.  And that kind of mental weight is utterly exhausting in a way I never imagined it could be.  I have come to appreciate the fact that as tough as this has been, there are so many others who face even larger medical battles that I could not fathom facing.  I am grateful for new-found perspective and to be approaching the end of this journey.  

And the beginning of a new one…

The Man and I have been talking and dreaming together of what it will look like.  Four.  Girls.  Perhaps, we are naive in thinking it will be easy.  After all, I am still holding on to the wise words of dear friends with a more ample brood than our own.  (“After three, it’s just crowd control!”)  I mean, we have done this before, right?  It seems too simple, but really babies don’t require as much as we think they do.  They eat.  They sleep.  They play.  Sure, they play the up-all-night game in the beginning, but it won’t be any less sleep than I’m getting now among the acid reflux, the head aches, the general insomnia, etc.  

I long for my babies to all be home with me and The Man.  To be doing life together.  And setting up our homestead this coming spring.  The garden.  The chickens.  The goat!

And to be back to the business of blogging.  Oh to be able to stand more than fifteen minutes at a time, concocting in the kitchen, crafting with my girlies, and running over hill and dale.

Great things are coming.  Here.  There.  Everywhere.  

Love & Coffee.