I am not certain that it ever fully does, but in a sense, it feels like it’s all coming together. I cannot even say exactly what. It is that moment when you turn around and look behind you and it takes your breath away. That moment when you recount all the mistakes and regrets you have about your journey thus far and sigh with relief that things have not turned out half bad. It could have been worse. And the good far outweighs anything less.
Sure, there are things I wish I had done differently. And time marches on to a metronomic beat that every fiber of my being wishes would slow to a largo. My four darlings are turning out beautifully. Too beautifully. And time refuses to stand still. The Man never seems to age, yet somehow creases are settling into my own visage without relent.
I suppose you could say that life is comfortable. Not in a financial sense. Or a perfect house sort of way. For the first time in my life I feel like I may be comfortable in my own skin. In who I am. In who God created me to be. Content to be confident in my Creator. And it’s a beautiful feeling.
My sweet girls have continued to grow up, despite my protests. It seems unfitting that my 13-year-old beauty continue to be called “Peanut.” Or that my not-so-little “Ladybug” shares my shoe size. It is also seems utterly impossible that “Lovey” has outgrown her taste for deodorant and Sharpies (although she continues to challenge me in entirely new ways daily). And “Cupcake?” Four. And a half. And sassy as can be.
Upon reflection, this blog began over 6 years ago. SIX!? Oh, how life has evolved.
All things considered, it has been a good run. But I feel like it’s just getting started. First? Adolescence. I am NOT handling it well or otherwise. Second? The Man thinks we should give chickens another chance. (Third time is a charm?) Third? I have this half-brained, but also necessary, idea that we are going to renovate our 1900 farmhouse if it kills all of us.
I feel like there is going to be a LOT more coffee in my future.
I hope you will join me, because this ride just got a whole lot more exciting.
Love & Coffee, Friends!